How to Trick People into buying you Awesome Presents

Christmas is a time of love and giving, where everyone gets back together from wherever they are and eats several times more turkey than their recommended daily allowance (one turkey per day) and do little else, but there are people in this world who don’t have that love. They must rely on cold manipulation to get their Christmas cheer, by convincing people to buy them things through a series of false ideas.

If you’re one of those people, but are struggling to do the manipulation part then you probably spend your Christmas day hunched under a dead tree, crying tears of snowdrops. Thankfully, you can now put a stop to this misery just consult these easy tips on how to get more presents through completely immoral means.

Induce panic buying
This is the oldest trick available when it comes to getting better presents than you give. It uses short notice mixed in with British middle-class guilt to ensure that you get more than you give.

You can do this method via phone or social media, but is best done in person as that’s when you can really set in some panic. Basically, in the week or so running up to Christmas, suddenly announce to someone that you can’t wait to give them the awesome present you’ve got them. This causes the recipient of this information to instantly panic about the lack of present they have for you, so they go out and get something really nice. All you need to do is get them something incredibly cheap that you can excuse as being really good because ‘it reminded me of you and I just thought it was hilarious.’ The closer to Christmas Day you are, the more they will panic.

This can go wrong for two reasons. Firstly, if you cross the line and get too close to the day, they simply won’t have enough time to give you something. Secondly, it requires a certain gift of conversation to convince the person that you’re awful present is actually really good. If you fail to do that one, they will either suss that you’re full of rubbish or completely forget you said it instantly.

The big box trick
The second trick can be just as effective, and relies a little bit on the same principle, but has the effect of really winding people up when they open the present.

All you need to do is wrap the present in an unusually large box. The idea is that people assume a big box means a more expensive present. As soon as you give them the gift, they’ll rush off to get you something around the same size. Then you reap the rewards.

The downside
There is a distinct flaw with these methods of manipulation. As soon as they open the presents, they will instantly know that you’ve done them over and tell all their friends that you’re a sneak. To avoid being even more unpopular you could actually be the nice guy for a change and get your xmas gift ideas from to make sure they’re actually happy with what they get.

Lotte xo 
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