Relationships After Having A Baby

Baby number two - Charlotte Rovi and Hayden
 
The question on every ones lips… What are relationships like after having a baby.
I don’t know if you have noticed but I don’t dive too deep into my personal life, I think there are somethings that should stay personal. But I feel I should give you an insight into what our life is like after we had a baby.
Before we had Hayden we would spend tons of time together, we lived together & worked pretty close by to each other. We went on holiday, date nights, days out, couples evenings.
 
You name it we did it. I think life has change for us both as a couple. I had a very hard time after giving birth to Hayden took me about 3 months to want to do anything. But Rovi was very understanding & extremely helpful. Hayden is now 1 years old and is a very independent little guy. We don’t go out as often as we used to which is totally understandable. I’m now a stay at home working mum & Rovi goes off to work Monday – Friday so we have most evening and weekends together.Our love for each other has only gotten stronger over the years its grown to an explainable level. I have to admit that at times I get completely overwhelmed from not getting enough sleep, looking after Hayden, blogging commitments and starting up a new business venture, but that’s where communication has been a life saver and because we are best friends once we have spoken about a whatever the problem was is immediately resolved.
I think the main thing you have to remember that we are all human.I asked a few people to share how they felt about their relationship after having a baby.

Nicola 24 Yorkshire
Mine and Marks relationship hasn’t changed that much since Paige was born, if anything its gotten stronger. We still get on very well and still plan to get married. The one thing that has changed is that we don’t have much time to ourselves anymore but we try to find ways to make it work when Paige is asleep. We both stare at Paige and still can’t believe that our love made her. That will always give us a special bond. Our relationship isn’t perfect and we sometimes snap at each other over little things because Paige might of had a bad night and we are tired but we don’t take it personally. We see our family as a team now Paige is here and we work together to support and accomplish things together.
 
Terci 27 Essex
After having Nolan I saw I side to my husband that I had never seen before! He was so amazing with Nolan, so helpful, and most of all really supportive! I honestly think its made our relationship grow stronger… It was a very big adjustment but we didn’t have any real problems as we always communicated our feelings, which I think is the main reason we have remained so strong!

Lindsey 27 London
The feelings I have after having are child are almost in explainable. I feel so much joy from deep inside. I’m not to bothered that I don’t get to go out with friends I have as much fun taking my boys out. And in terms of my relationship with 2 boys we don’t get much together or see eye to eye on certain things but we get on and do what we have to do for the boys.
 
By all means I am not a relationship expert nor do I have the perfect relationship but I wanted to share with you 3 top tips to keeping that relationship flying high and having to avoid break ups or even moving out.
 


1. Quality Time

But a good relationship requires time and intimacy so if you spend quality time with your other half before the baby arrives you know you can pick up from where you left off. You may not be able to go out several times a week but when you do have time. Its important to remember that you are still partners and not magically stopped to become parents.

2. Communication
Sometimes it can be slightly awkward. If there is a problem, there is no point in hiding it – the most important thing to do is to talk about it and if you need to laugh about it. The quality of anyone’s relationship could possible be sustained if the couple only shares fears and worries so share your positive feelings as well.
 
3. Spice It Up
Now this is a difficult one, how fast a couple get back into the swing of things mainly depends on the us ladies. If we are physically and emotionally up to it. Not only was the birth of your baby somewhat traumatic in some cases, you are also left feeling extremely sore. So the healing process takes longer depending on each woman differently.
In the early months, men usually have their normal sex drive, but women may not, especially if they’re breastfeeding.
But she says the biggest threat to new parents’ sex lives is usually exhaustion. To be honest you’d rather go to sleep than have sex. that’s a combination of fatigue and unbalanced hormone levels.
If you find it hard to relax when you know the baby is about to wake up any moment in the next room or the same room grab yourself a babysitter or family member to have baby for the evening or better still a break short break away with a family staying in your house looking after baby.
 
 
Until next time… Charlotte x
 
 
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28 comments

  1. Iv just plucked up the courage to get a babysitter that’s not family, £5 an hour but it’ll be we’ll worth it to go out and have us time a bit more

  2. Very well written! Some great tips x

  3. always make time for each other.

  4. It’s so easy to let things slip and become parents instead of a couple too

  5. Author Bek Mugridge

    Great post and tips x

  6. It is harder to make time for yourselves and your relationship with a child.

  7. interesting post and defo agree with you

  8. This is a really useful post for new parents 🙂

  9. great post, the father of my 6 year old left when i was pregnant as he couldnt handle the responsibilty, the story with my 18 month old daughters father is very different, hes a great dad very involved and we got engaged 6 months after her birth

  10. It is definitely much harder to go out with a little one. My little boy is 18 months now and we’ve not gone out on a date night since he was born. I need to man up and let his nan look after him! Hehe.

  11. Louise Nicole Hutchings

    Sadly I was a single Mum too when my daughter was first born. Saying that I now havea wonderful hubby to be so it all worked out for the best in the end 🙂

  12. both of my relationships broke down before I had each of my daughters..but this post makes sense to me!

  13. Interesting reading

  14. Louise Asekokhai

    Very interesting, communication and making time is important

  15. as a mother of 6 we always try and have a night out together at least once a month, much easier now my eldest is 17 and will babysit for an hour or 2 for a small fee!!

  16. Quality time is key I think!

  17. Shoot!! I need to email you xxx

  18. Natercia Monteiro

    This is an awesome post and I’m sure a lot of mums and mum to be’s would enjoy reading! Cos things to change but not for the worst, communication is all ways important in any aspect of a relationship but even more so after having a baby.

  19. I agree!

  20. I need to read this properly tomorrow x

  21. Very insightful post.

  22. its definitely really important not to forget about your relationship after having kids. we dont get the chance to go out by ourselves that much cos of difficulty finding babysitters but when we do, it is really exciting for us cos it is rare!

  23. this is a really good post things are really hard when you have a new baby but communication should never be lost! x

  24. I suppose everyones different really. Some relationships break down after having a baby, some get stronger. It is hard sometimes to find time for just the two of you, it also helps having a good family willing to help with babysitting etc, some people dont have that though, sadly.
    @tjsi1963

  25. It is hard to find alone time when you have kids, we don’t often get many offers for babysitters but we are still strong, we have became a tag team cause the kids gang up on us lol

  26. great tips xx

  27. definitly gonna start going out as a couple now every month now that our lovely son has turned 3 and he is old enough to go stay with family overnight… we really need to as its sometimes feels as if we dont spend time together just the two of us

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